The Style Invitational Week 951 Double over with laughter

By Pat Myers,

 

Fast fast: Sacrificing the midmorning snack break. Also known as Yom Zippur.

 

Bus buss: For those who couldn’t leave it at the Kiss-and-Ride.

 

Ultra-Loser Kevin Dopart, who suggested this contest, called it “Reduplicatives.” It’s pretty clear: Double a word, or use a word and its homophone, to make a phrase, and define it, as in the examples of both types above. If you want to make a triple (or, who knows, more) go for it.

 

Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives — in solemn commemoration of the recent death of a global dignitary — the Dear Leader Tongue Scraper, which is your basic dental-device tongue scraper except that the cardboard packaging features a painting of said scraper being held by Kim Jong Il as he cavorts on a beach with three young ladies in leotards. Donated by Nan Reiner.

 

Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt or yearned-for Loser Mug. Honorable mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet. First Offenders get a tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). E-mail entries to losers@washpost.com or fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Tuesday, Jan. 3; results published Jan. 22 (Jan. 20 online). No more than 25 entries per entrant per week. Include “Week 951” in your e-mail subject line or it may be ignored as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with your entry. See contest rules and guidelines at Washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational. The revised title for next week is by both Beverley Sharp and Chris Doyle; the subhead for this week’s honorable mentions is by Elden Carnahan. Join the Style Invitational Devotees on Facebook at on.fb.me/invdev.

 

Report from Week 947, our annual “Tour de Fours” contest, in which we asked for neologisms including the four-letter block N-O-E-L, in any order but without any other letters between them:

 

The winner of the Inker

 

Groucholenses: How to look at the world through nose-covered glasses. (Eric Fritz, Silver Spring, Md.)

 

2. Winner of the Santa Dreidel and some stocking coal: iPhonelecher: A tweet-stalking guy. (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)

 

3. None-liners: Sight gags. (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)

 

4. Leno jay: A nocturnal bird that lays an egg every night at 11:35. (Malcolm Fleschner, Palo Alto, Calif.)

 

Fours on the floor: Honorable mentions

 

Noelevator: How Santa gets back up the chimney. (Rick Haynes, Boynton Beach, Fla.)

 

Canoe Lips: What other kids used to call Mick Jagger and Steve Tyler. (David Garratt, Glenn Dale, Md.)

 

Peonlover: What the other billionaires call Warren Buffett. (Dave Airozo, Silver Spring, Md.)

 

Ole Nam River: Mekong Delta blues. (Howard Walderman, Columbia, Md.)

 

Faileontology: B-school case studies on New Coke, Betamax and Edsel. (Pam Sweeney, Burlington, Mass.)

 

Danglenosen: German for “You need a tissue.” (David Genser, Poway, Calif.)

 

Coloneye: James Bond flick where the villain gets it in the end. (Dion Black, Washington)

 

Neoleisured: Euphemism for laid off. (Betsy Curtler, Manakin-Sabor, Va., a First Offender)

 

Kalenog: Worst holiday drink ever. (Jason Russo, Annandale, Va.)

 

Non-Elvis: One of about three people in all of Las Vegas. (Lois Douthitt, Arlington, Va.)

 

Wifelong friends: The pals who stop seeing you after the divorce. (Larry Flynn, Greenbelt, Md.)

 

Lenoleum: A flat product that endures long after it’s gone out of style. (Jon Spell, Orem, Utah)

 

Lenopause: Stage of life when one thinks “The Tonight Show” is cutting-edge humor. (Nan Reiner, Alexandria, Va.)

 

Phonely: What you are when your best friend is named Siri. (John McCooey, Rehoboth Beach, Del.)

 

Hemidemiseminole: Dubious applicant for Florida casino profits. (Elwood Fitzner, Valley City, N.D.)

 

Felonthropic: What Robin Hood was. (Roy Ashley, Washington)

 

Elno: The Muppet who’ll be danged if he’s going to let your grabby little kid tickle him. (Edmund Conti, Raleigh, N.C.; Matt Monitto, Elon, N.C.)

 

Coenlite: The Farrelly Brothers. (John McCooey)

 

Psalmnolence: Dwelling in the Land of Nod during the sermon. (Chris Doyle)

 

Enolagay: The bomb you drop about your sexual orientation. (Anne Kinney, Charlottesville, Va.; Michael Greene, Alexandria, Va.)

 

Lonesta: A pill to help the promiscuous sleep by themselves. (Roger Hammons, North Potomac, Md.)

 

Coloneer: A proctologist. (Larry Gray, Union Bridge, Md.)

 

Meloncholy: Disappointment with one’s implants. (Amanda Yanovitch, Midlothian, Va.)

 

Meloncoli: Suffering caused by contaminated fruit. (Fred Dawson, Beltsville, Md.)

 

Grassy ’Nole: Obscure theory that JFK was shot by a Florida State alum high on marijuana. (David Ballard, Reston, Va.)

 

Beano elocution: An enduring form of guy talk. (Larry Flynn)

 

Mole’n’rouge: A flapper’s makeup set. (Mae Scanlan, Washington)

 

Menlo Spark: A blinding flash of inspiration, following many hours of perspiration. (Jeff Contompasis)

 

El Nono: The ill wind that blows no one any good. (Craig Dykstra, Centreville, Va.)

 

Unelope: Run off to get divorced. (Nancy Israel, Bethesda, Md.)

 

Stylenoob: A First Offender. (Chris Doyle)

 

Sulkenlosers: Entrants who aren’t in this list. (Mae Scanlan)

 

Next week: Look back in Inker, or Har we go again